First 5 Weeks in IPHC

Learning to do wound cleaning...on an orange. That's right, ORANGE. And enjoying it. Totally.

Golf Classic Fundraiser. I was trying to golf - goof. :)

And Australia Day fireworks at Swan River. It was an awesome fireworks display!

Wow! It's been a great one month back here in Perth! Although I did not immediately feel at home, I eventually did. There are 10 students in the school I am doing, and with 80% of us speaking English as a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th language.

We celebrated as a base the 50th Anniversary of YWAM International, and followed by the 25th for YWAM Perth. It was an exciting week with lots of nice food and nice company (yes, my friends who spoke my languages came all the way from Asia!) to join us for the celebrations. It was good seeing them again and be able to spend good time catching up and reconnected ourselves.

It was a priviledge to be in the same room as the founders of YWAM International, Loren and Darlene Cunningham and listening to all their stories and exhortation. God was not just faithful to YWAM for 50 years, He had been faithful to both Loren and Darlene all their lives. It is a wonderful God we serve.

Celebrating YWAM Perth's 25th was fun and relaxing and very good for the soul. I love YWAM Perth. It is truly an exciting and wonderful base to be in. All the goofing around and fun-loving people make it feel more like home. God is so good to me. :)

And I am blessed beyond my socks for my friend who generously allows me to use her Macbook whenever I need to, and has never said no before. I live in a wonderful house with wonderful people who love me for who I am. I am grateful - very grateful.

Unshakeable God

Today was one of those days I felt that I really want to go home. What was I thinking? What have I done? I have not been in my right mind when I talked myself into this. Today is the second time this week I feel I have done a mistake in coming.

Can someone please buy me a flight home? :( It is hard to comprehend my involvement here. Everything seems to be against my being back. Was I kidding my own thoughts and desires?

Every inch of my body wants to say that I have made a wrong call this time, yet I know this is exactly what is ahead of me. I know the more I want to give up and have a bad attitude, the harder it is to learn and absorb. The last week has been quite amazing in that I have had to stop and acknowledge that I am not in control of my life but God. He is the one in whom I can fully place my trust and I should follow. He is my unshakeable God.

God, please make my paths straighter than I can see. I want to follow You. In obedience and trust and rest. I know you love me. Very much.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Goodbye 2009

Whoa - it is the end of 2009. I caught myself writing '2008' on a form just a few weeks back - I have not gotten used to the fact that it is 2009 and now the year is closing. Mine ends on my flight to Perth. A pilgrimage of sorts.

As I look back, coming home for a year and a half has been a great blessing. One, I rekindled ties with family and was able to be around for many important occasions. Two, strengthening friendships with 'old' friends and getting to know new ones. Plenty of new horizons too. And three, I have had a chunk of time to realign, rethink, challenge, reflect and understand the season I am in and a little of who I am becoming.

I have enjoyed this year. It is one of my most fun year in all of my life - besides my childhood. There have been so many things I have done this year that I never thought I could or would or had a chance to, and they all happened!

Fellowshipping with fellow leaders and doing outdoor activities with them have been some of the highlights. Going to Europe to meet some of my closest friends was a bonus - think free new Porche. And spending so much time with friends and different people have made this year an awesome year. To top it off, I have the most amazing employers one can ever find - employers who are generous, kind, compassionate, funny and down to earth! God is absolutely amazing even for all the hardships that I have gone through since I got back.

I thought that my love for working with people on the grounds were just obsessions that I found while with YWAM. I thought they were wrong because I didn't like what I was doing - as if it was some sort of an escapade. Yet at the end of it all, I found that my person still veered towards wanting to give somethings I have - my time, energy, youth and brains, to people. It has gotten much more intense, and staying on with the job helped me discover that I want to do something that gives me joy. Joy doesn't mean everything comes easy but just a sense of satisfaction for the life used to its fullest potential. I have not gone that far and have not felt that joy.

Hence the decision to do Introduction to Primary Health Care.

I am excited deep down. Up above, I am numb. Numb to the things around me, numb to life, numb to everything. I feel nothing. I hate this feeling. I hate that I am helpless, and not exactly excited about things, about people and about their joys. I have become devoid of feelings. Urgh, I hate being in this condition.

And yet I thank God for allowing me this place of numbness without striking me off dead, and allowing me to know what are the important things that matter to me. And giving me the opportunity to have a one step plan ahead.

If you have ever experienced the desire to thank God so much yet no words can be uttered and want to be uttered, that's where I am - for I am choking with gratitude for His grace and mercy despite my disobedience, despite my failures.

I am His child. Indeed.

gracey

Books and Words

Trepidation. Apprehension. Excitement. Blur blur. Gladness. Just a rush of words.

I finally got hold of my own 'Redeeming Love' by Francine Rivers. When I read it the first time at the Whittle's, I could not put the book down. Read for 7 hours straight, went to bed and woke up to it. Finished it under 20 hours! I think. Then moved on to the next title that Stephanie had, but for the life of me I cannot remember the title of that one, also by Francine Rivers. I devoured her books.

So why did I get myself one after reading it once? I just love it. This year, for the first time in my life I've done that twice! Which makes this the second time. I don't ever believe in buying a book if I've read it somewhere but these two are worth it! Somehow they came flying to my hands. Hahaha...The other one is 'Sex.God' by Rob Bell. Contemporary, and modern style of writing. I bought 2 of these by the way. Gave one away. Oh, bought one 'Desiring God' by John Piper for a friend. I seem to be loving book giveaways...hmm...I wanna hoard an entire library of books! But I don't want books that I don't read or have never read.

I can't wait to go again. Need to breathe, realign and get my direction right. I am already on the right track.

Constipation of words and feelings. Numb. Wondering. Blue blue. Beauty. Brightness. I don't know what I am mumbling about. Love me. Hah!

gracey

Inspired by the inspired

Everything that is pure and lovely and worthy of thinking about and worthy to be remembered.

friends. wine. children. my bed. Desiring God. Kopi-O. Mich. journals. flowers!. clean sheets. colourful sheets. forests. cycling. outskirts. Staphorst. international train rides. planning for escapes. backpacks. lilies. Ivy. Egypt. New Zealand. slums. balloons. dresses. white. bacons. caesar salads. Redeeming Love. life. songs. dances. silly faces. Raindrops. cycling and walking in the rain. spices. smell after rain. beaches. Hai Peng coffee. hokkien mee. I Will Be Here. Amsterdam. London. Paris. Utrecht. Apeldoorn. cannals. good-looking men. jokes. toilet stories. tomyam. Lion King. DTS. eggs. roti bakar. cheese. champagne. Choisy Le Roi. Te Aroha. Crystal. Auckland. Luxor. Istres. Melbourne. Perth. hiking. night walks with daddy. Lily. Matty. Ruth. Jason. hot food. curry. nasi lemak. kampuang. kompiang. drums. saxophone. Kemaman. Lekor. dreams. weddings. hugs. kisses. warmth. encouragement. exhortation. God. loveliness. photos. silly pictures. cookies n' cream ice-cream. milka chocolates. hershey's kisses. family gatherings. chinese new year! 'i miss you' hugs. mommy's delicious meals. parks. Marieke. Kim. hills. evening walks. smiles. Monday morning worships. autumn!. spring!. bbqs. honey lemon. warm ribena. working. salaries. deepavalis. losing my way. being found. adventures. Sitiawan. university life. assignments. blogging. memories. moving forward. did I not say friends already?. ACS. 'i love yous'. eating ice-cream in a cold weather. butter cookies. milk powder floats. mangoes. guavas. berries.

and my list is endless.

gracey

Bouncy Meatball

Thoughts. Precious thoughts and insights. Shared, trampled, stomped on, made into a ball and thrown back at you. How fun is that.

Having real friends mean taking risks. I am risk adverse. I think for now I'll rest at not having made new and real friends for some time. Tis' too painful and too risky when you see a fish/meat ball thrown back at your face but end up hurting your heart.

Letting someone into your life, no matter how little a snippet it is, when not handled with care, makes you give up and not want to try again. God, I'm back at square one. Looks like it's just us and will forever be that way. The room is already crowded with You in it, so I think I'm gonna keep it that way.

You are the treasure, You are mine. And it feels good to say.... I am Yours too. Nothing can separate us, unless I choose otherwise.

gracey

p/s: Perhaps I can write about meatball metaphors one day. Let's get a lappie first whilst waiting.

It's Too Difficult

It's too difficult.

It's too difficult you say?

(I want to know, but I guess I don't need to know.)

It's too difficult!

Because you're worth it, He says. I love you, and you're worth it.

Now I need to get this. *smacks the head*

gracey

Amsterdam - A Snippet

Today I walked Amsterdam with Thanja. Persuaded her to walk me to the very well known red light district. You won't even notice you're already there, because I felt that way. The buildings are the same as the other buildings all around Amsterdam and the only difference is that there are signboards indicating the kind of shops there are. Free Porno. Sex toys. And then I wondered about the women. Where are they?

Well...like what many people have said, they stood in their bedrooms, soliciting for business in their underwears. Some old, some fat, some skinny and lovely. I saw a guy who went to ask for a price. Then I became depressed. I already started getting depressed before, but that snapped.

Thanja and I started praying for these women and men. God, how much they need you! It broke my heart to walk through that place, how much it must break Yours when You walked through it. While walking, some men just stared at us girls. Was disgusting how it felt to be stared at like pleasure objects. Yucks! I cannot imagine how the women there are still in the trade and why they do it! They must hate themselves. :(

It was so good to burst out in prayer though. Suddenly felt like we were prayer walking and touring at the same time. Got to the Amsterdam base after, and hung out more. Was so good to see you Thanja! :)

lovin' it!
gracey

Short Note to Keep this Alive

Been so busy I've not blogged. I find my own thoughts during this time of 'silence' quite negligible, and none worth noting down. There's nothing great that has happened that I think is worth sharing (sounds a little close to morbid huh?) Nonetheless, July - August have been 2 great months of relating and catching up with friends of old, new and .....

Which means I have had little time to catch a breath myself, with myself. Hahaha....if there's such a thing. Finally there is going to be time to do that though, and hang lots with really good friends. That of course, after I get through this busy busy week at work. But it's going to pass by so quickly I don't think I'd have time to notice it.

gracey

I Am Rich

Time to update.

I scrolled down the things I wrote on my Facebook, and saw the list of things I want to do. And travelling, being one of them.

I look back and am grateful to my Anchor for giving me opportunities to do just that! I know, I end up a papa-kedana (poor person), but my life is rich. Rich not really because of travelling alone, but because of the people in those trips that I meet.

Who would dream that I would see some of my outreach teammates again in this life? And even the random people we met in Egypt when we were doing ministry there with them? And one unexpected meeting with a new yet not so new friend? I never have dreamt any of those. Not at this age to say the least. I have always thought I cannot afford travelling. And I still think so. It puts me back financially, and leaving a job for a training experience has put me back before.

At the rate I am going, I won't have much financially, materially. But I am grateful for the air that I breathe, for the food that I eat, for the room that I rest in, for the sanity of my mind, for the passport that I hold, for the clothes that I own, for the friends that are my own, for the challenges in life, and the colours of life. I am a rich person, I just don't have much to show.

Above all, I am thankful to the One who provides all things, and makes things happen. The One who gives new opportunities, new alternatives, new perspectives with that 1 choice I made. It is worth it even though I do not have much. Just enough to share sometimes. I am rich. ;)

Here's to many more years of open minds, open hearts, new lands, new peoples, unending adventures........................and a rich life.

I am a rich woman. But you can't rob what I have.

gracey