So I've been missing from the scene. Please forgive me, my faithful readers, muah has been pretty occupied with assignments, and they have been driving me to the wall. I have been taking time to read as well, before I go to sleep and when I am on my throne. There is no connection in the last 2 sentences, just to inform, in case you have not noticed.
Well, life hits hard when all we see are our downfalls. That is what I have been mulling over the last few days, but because of that, I remember God's goodness and the reason of His grace for me. You see, I can never be perfect although I expect myself to be, and He offers His grace for me, just enough for that moment, never lacking. I guess it's good to be in the valley, because then I would remember God's goodness to me. I'm an ungrateful child, and needs to be reminded often. =)
How pathetic is our walk with God, if our devotion to Him is at the peak only when things are pretty smooth and groovy. If it depends on the whims of our lives, then I think we're only treating God as one of those things. Maybe an 'it' with little value. So that is my thought for this season, triggered by a couple of friends' thoughts about being friends with God and what that means. First question to ask is, am I a friend to another? Or maybe it would be better to ask what does it mean to be a friend?
I have been thinking about spending 6 months learning at one of the Youth With A Mission (YWAM) bases for almost a year now. It is my desire to step out of my comfort zone and move on to a greater faith journey with God. There are quite a few fold of things I can do and learn in this 6 months, of which none I would disclose in this post. With the first hurdle over, the next one is a huge challenge to me, that is, raising funds to get me there to wherever I am heading to for the Discipleship Training School (DTS) which is run by YWAM. It's no small sum, to say the least.
The big question to me is, do I deserve that amount of money from God? And will He provide? I mean, I have been slacking if you talk about the normal standards expected from a growing Christian - regular QT, sin confession, prayer, discipleship, purpose living and etc. Humanly speaking, I do not think I stand any chance even if I beg God for that big sum. I sat and thought deep, asking God whether He would provide, and of course I didn't hear Him. Get this right, I didn't hear Him, not He didn't answer me.
Something, I guess the Holy Spirit planted this seed in my heart (a little while later), that whether God provides or otherwise does not depend on me, my character nor my consistency or the lack of it. It is who God is that is the point. It is for His glory that He will provide, not me. And whatever He does will be consistent with what the Bible has taught us about Him, that He loves us unconditionally, period. Nothing can make Him change, evil doesn't corrupt Him, nor does my lack of faith make Him change His character. Anyway, that's one of the reasons we love Him, and hate Him, right? I suppose then this is the journey I must take, to decide and ask Him by faith to provide, no matter how impossible I think it is (I mean, it's a whole lot of money man!). If the wealth of this world belongs to God, I suppose RM35k is nothing to Him. Then I can safely conclude that what He wants is my trust in Him, so that He can give me such an adventurous journey ahead!
same yet different,
gracey
Well, life hits hard when all we see are our downfalls. That is what I have been mulling over the last few days, but because of that, I remember God's goodness and the reason of His grace for me. You see, I can never be perfect although I expect myself to be, and He offers His grace for me, just enough for that moment, never lacking. I guess it's good to be in the valley, because then I would remember God's goodness to me. I'm an ungrateful child, and needs to be reminded often. =)
How pathetic is our walk with God, if our devotion to Him is at the peak only when things are pretty smooth and groovy. If it depends on the whims of our lives, then I think we're only treating God as one of those things. Maybe an 'it' with little value. So that is my thought for this season, triggered by a couple of friends' thoughts about being friends with God and what that means. First question to ask is, am I a friend to another? Or maybe it would be better to ask what does it mean to be a friend?
I have been thinking about spending 6 months learning at one of the Youth With A Mission (YWAM) bases for almost a year now. It is my desire to step out of my comfort zone and move on to a greater faith journey with God. There are quite a few fold of things I can do and learn in this 6 months, of which none I would disclose in this post. With the first hurdle over, the next one is a huge challenge to me, that is, raising funds to get me there to wherever I am heading to for the Discipleship Training School (DTS) which is run by YWAM. It's no small sum, to say the least.
The big question to me is, do I deserve that amount of money from God? And will He provide? I mean, I have been slacking if you talk about the normal standards expected from a growing Christian - regular QT, sin confession, prayer, discipleship, purpose living and etc. Humanly speaking, I do not think I stand any chance even if I beg God for that big sum. I sat and thought deep, asking God whether He would provide, and of course I didn't hear Him. Get this right, I didn't hear Him, not He didn't answer me.
Something, I guess the Holy Spirit planted this seed in my heart (a little while later), that whether God provides or otherwise does not depend on me, my character nor my consistency or the lack of it. It is who God is that is the point. It is for His glory that He will provide, not me. And whatever He does will be consistent with what the Bible has taught us about Him, that He loves us unconditionally, period. Nothing can make Him change, evil doesn't corrupt Him, nor does my lack of faith make Him change His character. Anyway, that's one of the reasons we love Him, and hate Him, right? I suppose then this is the journey I must take, to decide and ask Him by faith to provide, no matter how impossible I think it is (I mean, it's a whole lot of money man!). If the wealth of this world belongs to God, I suppose RM35k is nothing to Him. Then I can safely conclude that what He wants is my trust in Him, so that He can give me such an adventurous journey ahead!
same yet different,
gracey
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