Relationships are a bummer. But they also define us. We see some of ourselves in the people around us. It is complex yet we cannot live without relationships. Our lives are built around relationships with our families, friends and even the society around us. The difference is the depth of each relationship I suppose.
Sometimes I resent being affected so much by friendships and relationships, I wish life does not include any of these, yet I know full well that there is no way I can live without any of these people in my life. I can't leave God out obviously, and that's because He made us for a relationship with Him, and precisely the reason we cannot run away from having relationships with people all our lives.
We need to have 'alone' times, and yet we need to have 'together' times. Just how far should we build our friendships? I firmly believe that taking on friendships is easy, but how far one takes that friendship is not as simple. Where do you put a stop to the depth of your friendship with someone? I mean, is there really a blueprint that warns you if you are going too deep into the relationship? Isn't the factor of risk a must when we want to build close friendships?
I have had the priviledge of building friendships, friendships that grow deep into the ground but most have brought me only hurt. I do not resent the hurts, because they made me who I am today. The fear of another hurt is the reason why I do not go deep in certain friendships. I know it is worth the risk, yet I have doubts about how far I can be real with some of them before they start judging me and giving me pointers (trying to change me that is) about who I am suppose to be. I know they mean well, but I guess those hurts grew too deep in the past.
Now you know my secret. I am a risk taker to a certain extent, but aren't all of us? I am however, very careful who I share my life with. It's not done deliberately, just ingrained. I have seen though, that I am becoming more transparent with my life because I know that the testimony of my life would be a blessing to those whom I share them with. It's just ironic how far I have come and I do realise that as I share and reveal more, I heal better too. Just don't give me another blow too soon ok? ;)
same yet different,
gracey
Sometimes I resent being affected so much by friendships and relationships, I wish life does not include any of these, yet I know full well that there is no way I can live without any of these people in my life. I can't leave God out obviously, and that's because He made us for a relationship with Him, and precisely the reason we cannot run away from having relationships with people all our lives.
We need to have 'alone' times, and yet we need to have 'together' times. Just how far should we build our friendships? I firmly believe that taking on friendships is easy, but how far one takes that friendship is not as simple. Where do you put a stop to the depth of your friendship with someone? I mean, is there really a blueprint that warns you if you are going too deep into the relationship? Isn't the factor of risk a must when we want to build close friendships?
I have had the priviledge of building friendships, friendships that grow deep into the ground but most have brought me only hurt. I do not resent the hurts, because they made me who I am today. The fear of another hurt is the reason why I do not go deep in certain friendships. I know it is worth the risk, yet I have doubts about how far I can be real with some of them before they start judging me and giving me pointers (trying to change me that is) about who I am suppose to be. I know they mean well, but I guess those hurts grew too deep in the past.
Now you know my secret. I am a risk taker to a certain extent, but aren't all of us? I am however, very careful who I share my life with. It's not done deliberately, just ingrained. I have seen though, that I am becoming more transparent with my life because I know that the testimony of my life would be a blessing to those whom I share them with. It's just ironic how far I have come and I do realise that as I share and reveal more, I heal better too. Just don't give me another blow too soon ok? ;)
same yet different,
gracey
7 comments:
This is one tough nut I have been trying to crack for quite sometime - How far should we build our friendship? I guess to a certain extent it depends on ourselves. How willing are we to trust them? How willing are they to prove that they are worth the friendship. I will say that I'm blessed to have friends like you and Lisa who I can share my heart out and at times "chee kek" and that I know very well that I can trust you with my secrets. It is that level of trust that will define how far should we build our friendship because usually trust to me is the foundation of many friendships. Unless of cos if you're talking about bringing the friendship into a relationship kind of thing then that I don't know la. XD But yea in terms of just being friends, it takes trust and alot of them. Becareful though that you don't share yourself too much with others because there will always be people out there who will "exploit" our secrets eventhough we may think we can trust them.
Another big problem here would be, if lets say we have too many "close friends" from the opposite sex. That would pose a problem when you're in a relationship because whenever things are sour in your relationship, you will tend to run to your close friends of the opposite sex. And then there will always be the issue of "there are certain things you can share with your close friends and not your partner." So yea, theres another headache for you. XD
Grace!!
:)
always like to read ur blog...
lots of interesting observations on your life etc...
helps me to know u better
thinking a lot lately ar??
anyway do take care!
:)
maybe my ques to u is how shallow is our frenship ah??
No pain no gain.
No try no know!
No risk no story
no reflection no correction
no exposure no expansion
no WORD no wisdom
no fren like me no dream
no GOD everything no no
remember this wise saying of your master.
Dektos: Yeah, trust is the basis of any relationship. But i guess if we don't take the risk then we never know how much we can trust a person right? Of course perception would play a big part here then. Whether people want to dupe us or not anyone is capable of that, so I guess take a wise risk?
Friends from the other gender, yeah, there must be a line too. I also believe good friends are great candidates for life partners!
Sarah: LOL. These issues are always on my mind, since it's a choice to remain single. It's a mystery, ain't it?
Lydia: Yes, their bimbo-ness is unbelieveable! LOL. Send me the forwarded mail. =)
Dream master: Yes boss. =) I'll be free by next Thursday if you need help for MCCC! =)
If you like, you can give The Friendships of Women by Dee Brestin a read. It was a very redeeming and healing book for me. Especially during my transition out of uni life.. into a very lonely place. And when I lost my close friends (again!). Not meaning to shove a book at you like a quick-fix-it thing, but it REALLY REALLY helped me. :)
If you like, you can give The Friendships of Women by Dee Brestin a read. It was a very redeeming and healing book for me. Especially during my transition out of uni life.. into a very lonely place. And when I lost my close friends (again!). Not meaning to shove a book at you like a quick-fix-it thing, but it REALLY REALLY helped me. :)
When I'm done with uni, I'll probably bug you for it if I still remember. Hehe.. ;)
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