Today I left early. I felt so free. Went for a song practice. It's really funny when people look at you weird when they find out you're doing a solo number.
Well, that is the difference when friends do not know your history; who, where and what you were. They also tend to doubt your ability when you share with them what you have done before, just because they have not seen it with their own eyes. The disbelief in their eyes either makes you wonder about your own ability or it makes you satisfied because they are questioning.
I tend to feel both, at different points of my life. I like to make people gawk with disbelief, it is utter satisfaction to my soul. Sometimes I wonder where that attitude comes from. It might be because of my past with people in school. Don't need to say anymore.
I came to realise today that when where one resides is cluttered & messy, it probably resembles the condition of the person's mind and heart. There is no constant cleaning up of mess. Spring cleaning is definitely not helpful, because it tires us and is only done a few times a year. The condition of our hearts depend on how often we clean it, clearing it of mess and rubbish pile. It is so important to constantly ask God to keep our hearts pure, and this is something I begin to understand for myself more and more.
It used to be so easy to forgive but as I grow older and experience life more, I find it harder to forgive and let go. The more I keep it to my heart, the more I feel guilty. How do I count it no more? Injustice is something that I've always fought against (in my own way) and when I experience that myself I feel so trapped I do not know what to do. Not being able to express my deepest pain makes it harder to let go I guess.
Anyway, not here to complain. Aiming to be a blogstar still.
dreaming,
gracey
Well, that is the difference when friends do not know your history; who, where and what you were. They also tend to doubt your ability when you share with them what you have done before, just because they have not seen it with their own eyes. The disbelief in their eyes either makes you wonder about your own ability or it makes you satisfied because they are questioning.
I tend to feel both, at different points of my life. I like to make people gawk with disbelief, it is utter satisfaction to my soul. Sometimes I wonder where that attitude comes from. It might be because of my past with people in school. Don't need to say anymore.
I came to realise today that when where one resides is cluttered & messy, it probably resembles the condition of the person's mind and heart. There is no constant cleaning up of mess. Spring cleaning is definitely not helpful, because it tires us and is only done a few times a year. The condition of our hearts depend on how often we clean it, clearing it of mess and rubbish pile. It is so important to constantly ask God to keep our hearts pure, and this is something I begin to understand for myself more and more.
It used to be so easy to forgive but as I grow older and experience life more, I find it harder to forgive and let go. The more I keep it to my heart, the more I feel guilty. How do I count it no more? Injustice is something that I've always fought against (in my own way) and when I experience that myself I feel so trapped I do not know what to do. Not being able to express my deepest pain makes it harder to let go I guess.
Anyway, not here to complain. Aiming to be a blogstar still.
dreaming,
gracey
1 comment:
yeah for me also i am also sometimes i find it very hard to forgive it about few years bc i have a miss understanding with my couse mate she taken me for granted and we were classmate for many years and i have loss intouch with her since we have miss understanding for me also i sometimes find it very hard to forgive and let go have to depent on gods streng and wisdom mingying
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