THAT person will be known as Mice. It is interesting how Mice affects me. Although Mice is not within my normal vicinity, what Mice says hurts me, especially when Mice cannot change its perceptions about me, and attitude towards me.
Just today I got news of what Mice said, yet again. It is absolutely amazing how our minds can be blocked. Wait, we call it mental block. Mice has this sickness called mental block when it comes to me. Pure and innocent mistakes are criticised and complained about, without any benefit of the doubt given. I am hurt and thank God Mice is not near me anymore.
The best thing is this, Mice makes my family feel ashamed of me. If you know the Chinese, shame is a social stigma. In other words, I am a social stigma to my family. Try growing up being the forgotten one, then you might understand my so-called unimportant feelings. Have always not been important to my family. Well, this is not imagined, more like vocalised in many different ways. Remember, I am the social outcast of the family.
When I wanted to go to YWAM, Mice thought I was crazy because Mice assumed I was going to spend my family's money. Keep in mind that I am the irresponsible, spoilt and inconsiderate one in Mice's eyes. I know I am crazy enough to trust God for the money, and nothing from my family.
Mice has tremendous impact on my family. Mice doesn't know that the words its mouth says is channeled to me in negative ways (from other sources), almost all the time. Thank God for an understanding family member who knows that I'm not that bad afterall. Otherwise, I'd rather be cut off from the family.
It might be an understatement to say that Mice despises me. And I said MIGHT.
How do I deal with this on my side? I don't want to bother too much, but I cannot deny that Mice affects me.
p/s:I know mice is plural, but it sounds nicer than mouse. That's why I used it.
in pain & dilemma,
gracey
Just today I got news of what Mice said, yet again. It is absolutely amazing how our minds can be blocked. Wait, we call it mental block. Mice has this sickness called mental block when it comes to me. Pure and innocent mistakes are criticised and complained about, without any benefit of the doubt given. I am hurt and thank God Mice is not near me anymore.
The best thing is this, Mice makes my family feel ashamed of me. If you know the Chinese, shame is a social stigma. In other words, I am a social stigma to my family. Try growing up being the forgotten one, then you might understand my so-called unimportant feelings. Have always not been important to my family. Well, this is not imagined, more like vocalised in many different ways. Remember, I am the social outcast of the family.
When I wanted to go to YWAM, Mice thought I was crazy because Mice assumed I was going to spend my family's money. Keep in mind that I am the irresponsible, spoilt and inconsiderate one in Mice's eyes. I know I am crazy enough to trust God for the money, and nothing from my family.
Mice has tremendous impact on my family. Mice doesn't know that the words its mouth says is channeled to me in negative ways (from other sources), almost all the time. Thank God for an understanding family member who knows that I'm not that bad afterall. Otherwise, I'd rather be cut off from the family.
It might be an understatement to say that Mice despises me. And I said MIGHT.
How do I deal with this on my side? I don't want to bother too much, but I cannot deny that Mice affects me.
p/s:I know mice is plural, but it sounds nicer than mouse. That's why I used it.
in pain & dilemma,
gracey
No comments:
Post a Comment