I was at KLIA this morning. Was sitting in front of Row G, Departure Hall, waiting for someone. I had time because that person had to walk from another building.
As I sat there, I ran through what I had to do if I were to depart for Australia from KLIA. My heart quietened. I was quietly crying. Tears welled up but I had to hold them. I imagined what it would be like leaving, and I know I would leave that place with red eyes come September.
Am I ready to leave? It sure felt like I'm absolutely not. When I leave, it may mean permanent leaving. I might have lived a completely full life before I ever get to come home again. My heart was heavy it felt like I was hanging a 10kg stone over my neck.
I envisioned the people who would be sending me off, or whom I hope would send me off. Buckets of tears will be collected on the days leading to my departure. I knew I'd still leave even if it feels as though I cannot stand the separation from the familiar, because the change and adventure is necessary.
God's call is steady - I'm not budging. I want to grow and see. I told Abba that His call has to be louder, because missing home is not always pleasant.
I have, in the past month, been thinking about the people I want to meet up with, before I head for Australia. I am leaving as though I will never be coming back again, not because I don't love Malaysia, but because God might call me home. As much as I am convinced that my life on earth is not complete, I will not rule out that I'd be home earlier than I thought.
It is good to have alone times..
As I sat there, I ran through what I had to do if I were to depart for Australia from KLIA. My heart quietened. I was quietly crying. Tears welled up but I had to hold them. I imagined what it would be like leaving, and I know I would leave that place with red eyes come September.
Am I ready to leave? It sure felt like I'm absolutely not. When I leave, it may mean permanent leaving. I might have lived a completely full life before I ever get to come home again. My heart was heavy it felt like I was hanging a 10kg stone over my neck.
I envisioned the people who would be sending me off, or whom I hope would send me off. Buckets of tears will be collected on the days leading to my departure. I knew I'd still leave even if it feels as though I cannot stand the separation from the familiar, because the change and adventure is necessary.
God's call is steady - I'm not budging. I want to grow and see. I told Abba that His call has to be louder, because missing home is not always pleasant.
I have, in the past month, been thinking about the people I want to meet up with, before I head for Australia. I am leaving as though I will never be coming back again, not because I don't love Malaysia, but because God might call me home. As much as I am convinced that my life on earth is not complete, I will not rule out that I'd be home earlier than I thought.
It is good to have alone times..
7 comments:
okay first i have to say.. the ending of your post was quite the morbid! i don't think God will call you home that soon becuz i'm pretty sure your purpose here on earth is not fully done yet! hahha so stop scaring all of us! hehe
oh and yeah,airports has that effect on most of us. it's a love-hate relationship with the airport. hehhee.. it's always hard leaving.. then after the whole journey to wherever you're heading to, it becomes alright all over again.. and then later on when it's time to leave to head home.. it's the same heavy feeling again! sigh. and therefore that is why i hate airports. hahaha.
That's why I was thinking to myself, "Man, it's crazy having to go through this every year!". I "think" I know I'm not dying that soon yet, but I'll never know. :)
are u going to aus to study or work there anyway do keep in touch with me whereever u go
you ah, God has not finished moulding you here, so fast go home u get culture shock. I think u watch too much cantonese show d
i love airports. it's like a portal or channel into a world i've never been and never known. i love the rush of anticipation of something i've never experienced before...
you have a great imagination lol... you sound like a superhero who's enemies kill all her loved ones... lol lol... (i just watched spiderman so the concept is still ringing in my head).
i will always love airports... goodbyes means something new is coming... but keeping in touch is always a touch you can make... i loves airports and goodbyes are okay. =)))
chin up dear girl.
i mean keeping in touch is always a decision you can make...
Debbie: I know can keep in touch, but it's different la. Plus once I get into YWAM proper, may not have time anymore.
Dream Master: Hehe..No la. I've always been like this. You don't know nia ma.
Min Ying: :) Going there for holidays! Hahaha...In my dream lah. :)
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