A friend blogged about drying up like a prune, I think I am dust already. Did I tell any of you that I am in the midst of preparing to go for a missions trip? Honestly, I don't know what I got myself into. I feel inadequate, with nothing to give, except a life which is dry, where no living water is flowing through. Although exams and assignments are over for this season, I feel anything but rejuvenated. Yeah, it's been only half a day. So what? It's true that I don't have to study or face this idiot box of mine for 24 hours a day anymore, but really, life sucks if it drains blood out of me like this!
Well, I blame myself for this. It's my fault I was not careful with my life in total, it's really my fault. I do look fine, but my eyes may betray the actual state of my heart, mind and soul. Sometimes, if you look careful enough, you can see a tired soul behind the dark brown eyes of mine. I believe one becomes radiant when there is joy and as a result of that, looks more vibrant and pretty (good looking for guys). So I have no idea why I look better everytime I see this someone, who comments so almost every month when I see her!
But hey, I'm not giving up on myself just yet, and all because Jesus never gave up on me. A phase? I guess so. At least that's what Ah Fei told me when I did my D.I.S.C test. The result showed a very unstable me. Okay, it was in May that I did this test, but I sure have not gotten out of the cycle yet. Transition likely. BIG TIME transition.
It's as though ALL my values and belief systems are being torn down piece by piece to leave the root deep in the ground. I question many things, including my faith and so far, have not had any concrete answers to my questions. It will take time to get all my answers, I just pray I don't go nutcase while waiting. I'm sure my answers will come at His perfect timing.
I feel OLD. Yeah, go on, call me aunty. You can stand on KL Towers and shout it over KL City. I have no problems with that. Sharks.
Lord, I need your grace that is sufficient for me. Your strength is indeed made perfect in my weakness. Life isn't a bed of roses now, but I will stand at Your door and knock. No matter how faint I sound, hear me when I call. I'm standing alone, with no support behind my back, but Lord, it's all good, because You are good to me. I may not be able to sing songs of praise and worship to You sometimes, but Lord You know full well how I hunger and thirst for You, Your Word to come alive in my own life. Let this holidays be a time to learn and to grow, a time to uproot and to throw, a time to love and to hold, and a time to rebuild the dream You have implanted in my life all these years. May I never lose sight of You and Your throne of Grace, for it is there I belong!!
one tiny life,
gracey
Well, I blame myself for this. It's my fault I was not careful with my life in total, it's really my fault. I do look fine, but my eyes may betray the actual state of my heart, mind and soul. Sometimes, if you look careful enough, you can see a tired soul behind the dark brown eyes of mine. I believe one becomes radiant when there is joy and as a result of that, looks more vibrant and pretty (good looking for guys). So I have no idea why I look better everytime I see this someone, who comments so almost every month when I see her!
But hey, I'm not giving up on myself just yet, and all because Jesus never gave up on me. A phase? I guess so. At least that's what Ah Fei told me when I did my D.I.S.C test. The result showed a very unstable me. Okay, it was in May that I did this test, but I sure have not gotten out of the cycle yet. Transition likely. BIG TIME transition.
It's as though ALL my values and belief systems are being torn down piece by piece to leave the root deep in the ground. I question many things, including my faith and so far, have not had any concrete answers to my questions. It will take time to get all my answers, I just pray I don't go nutcase while waiting. I'm sure my answers will come at His perfect timing.
I feel OLD. Yeah, go on, call me aunty. You can stand on KL Towers and shout it over KL City. I have no problems with that. Sharks.
Lord, I need your grace that is sufficient for me. Your strength is indeed made perfect in my weakness. Life isn't a bed of roses now, but I will stand at Your door and knock. No matter how faint I sound, hear me when I call. I'm standing alone, with no support behind my back, but Lord, it's all good, because You are good to me. I may not be able to sing songs of praise and worship to You sometimes, but Lord You know full well how I hunger and thirst for You, Your Word to come alive in my own life. Let this holidays be a time to learn and to grow, a time to uproot and to throw, a time to love and to hold, and a time to rebuild the dream You have implanted in my life all these years. May I never lose sight of You and Your throne of Grace, for it is there I belong!!
one tiny life,
gracey
3 comments:
Hey, when i read ur post i remembered some bible knowledege stuff...in
Luke 11:34 "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness."
so yeah...quite true ah...so next time you wana find a boyfren, see his eyes nice anot..if got contact lens then minus marks...hahah...k k..enuf crap...haiya...y u liddat..hope ure beta edi...dun so sad la...God is alwiz with you. Dont listen to the devil's lies..remember that.Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." So yeah...be a sunsweet prune..not dust...no one likes dust...eeee...Bah ! :)
and oh...btw im in Metro now..ur comp lab punya chairs are like the hospital chairs only...so cacat wan....even mamak chairs are beta than the chairs here!!BAh...Take Care...see you laterzzzz!
you sound so burnt out grace... will remember you in prayer ^^ i hope that you will feel afresh and hopefully encounter God again during the mission trip... oh well you're probably just tired after a long sem.. no? anyway, you aint old lare ya :P
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