No matter how much you have changed, you never change in your family's eyes. I think this is the worse lid anyone can have, to be subject to such a limitation. A limitation that is not given to anyone outside the family.
I was talking to my friend about this, and she equalled it to my thoughts about my Prime Minister. Will it ever change? No. We have decided who he is, even though he was never officially convicted of anything. Will anything he does change my mind about him? No, because there is no integrity in all that he does.
Anyway, suffice to say, when you do not live with your family, and they speak to you once in a while, and then something happens and you tick each other off, there you go, all that you have achieved puffs into thin air, at least in their perception. What will lasting change look like? I wonder. Is there integrity in my actions and words? Hopefully.
Such is this day, a day of ups and downs, and the desire to hide in a cocoon. It has been a good day with Papa, but really challenging outside of that. I need His affirmation after this long day.
Adios.
gracey
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