In Anticipation.

It is about 17 days before I arrive to Malaysian soil. 11 months. Which is home now?

Honestly, I feel more of myself now more than I have ever before. Little things like laughter, being witty and sarcastic are my hallmark. Which I have never really felt free to do at home, because people get offended. But here, in Perth, I have been liberalised. I do not know how to go back to what was.

Should I?

I am encouraged to express my thoughts through my countless friends who express theirs. I am encouraged to give suggestions, because it means they value the individual. People are more accepting and definitely very forgiving, even when I have not been forgiving with myself. I have been given the free rein of creativity in the kitchen, and I have been taught what humility means and looks like. I don't have much, yet I have plenty. Leftover fishes and bread. I am learning what generosity looks like, at its best. It is here I have learnt acceptance and encouragement. And I have been compelled to change.

And yet you can still feel lonely. *just a side note.

But God is my hope, in whom is my source of strength, purpose, salvation, comfort and love. For love casts out all fear. Perfect love that is. And He is my perfect love. Nothing, absolutely nothing can take Him away from my life. And loneliness is silenced. And thoughts continue churning and being groomed.

Love. Love. Love. Love compels. 

And it changes.

I shall have no fear returning to tanah tumpahnya darahku. It is well with my soul.